It’s official… I’ve lost it. Today is supposed to be 105Â° again. I can’t take it anymore. This will make I don’t know how many days so far this year in triple digits. The forecast for the Boise area the next few days is 105Â° today, followed by 103Â°, 101Â°, 102Â°, and 102Â°. Yay global warming!
I don’t do well in the heat. I have no energy. I don’t sleep for shit. I tend to get a touch cranky when we have day after day after day that feels like living in a blast furnace. Don’t you love getting out of the car and having your underwear damp? I know I do.
As many of you know, and the rest can tell from the various pictures of me, I’m what’s known as a fair skinned person. Ok, that might be an understatement. I’m white. Bright white, in fact. My ancestors came from them northern European climes where the sun doesn’t shine much and its cold a lot. Basically what this means for me is that I will sunburn in about 7 minutes of unprotected sun exposure. Of course, that doesn’t have to be summer exposure, as I have gotten wicked burns in the winter as well.
But, at least in the winter we usually have clouds and its not a thousand degrees outside. No such luck these days. They are bright and sunny, but don’t forget the lovely smoke from all the wildfires around… that’s always fun.
Top that all off with the absolute worst sporting month in the calendar and it all adds up to the fact that I just hate summer. The only good thing about summer is that it leads to fall, which is the greatest season ever invented. As much as I loathe summer is mirrored by how much I absolutely love the fall. But until then, its just me versus the sun.
The sun is my sworn mortal enemy. We are locked in a battle to the death and he will win. My only chance is to not give him the opportunity to bludgeon me regularly. So, I’m stuck indoors, valiantly trying to avoid the carcinoma that may strike me down.
And with only baseball games and SportsCenter trying to figure out who is more NOW (unquestionably the dumbest thing EVER), I’m slowly going mad. Check that… not so slowly. I am mad.
Someone… anyone… I’m begging you… do a rain dance. Sacrifice a goat. Do whatever it takes to get it cool outside. You will have my eternal gratitude.