Dumbest Trend/Story I’ve Read This Year

Ok… I just had to post something about this. Apparently, rap mogul Jay Z is initiating a boycott of Cristal Champagne, because their managing director referred the the rappers and ‘blingers’ as “unwanted attention.”

I have a number of problems with this… on both sides.

First off, how stupid does this guy have to be? In just about every rap song, some guy who grew up in the projects is now extolling the virtues of Cristal, or “the Cris” or whatever the hell else they’re calling it. The company has gotten better than free advertising, in that an entire generation of rap fans, wannabes, and hangers-on want to drink that swill at $450 a bottle. ‘Unwanted attention’ you pretentious prick? Nobody in their right mind should pay $450 a bottle for anything, let alone champagne. And you just shot your blinged out goose in the ass. Smart business there.

Secondly, why in the hell do these rappers, wannabes, general dumbasses drink something that costs that much? Ok, I can understand the rappers… I mean, they have to spend money like its going out of style (I think its written in their record contracts), and there are only so many gold teeth and Bentleys you can buy. However, I’m willing to bet that 95% of these people who have had, or want to have Cristal wouldn’t know good champagne if it rubbed Vaseline on their hineys and called them special. If you were to slap a Cristal label on a $4.78 bottle of the local brut, I guaran-damn-tee they couldn’t tell you the difference. Kinda like when you feed that annoying asshole non-alcoholic beer all night and they act like they’re so blasted. Whatever… you shithead. Even on the Sopranos this season, AJ was arguing with his parents Tony and Carmella how his Blockbuster job doesn’t pay enough and uses the argument, “the prices in the clubs is so high!… Cristal is $500 a bottle and there is a 3 bottle minimum!”. To which his folks reply, “YOU SPEND $1500 ON CHAMPAGNE!?” “Uh… not every weekend…” He is in desperate need of a punch in the face… which he never got, by the way.

Unless you’re pulling down 6 figures a year, you shouldn’t be drinking it. Even if you ARE pulling down 6 figures a year, that usually means you have some knowledge and skills that are worth 6 figures, and you should friggin know better.

Why the hell do I care? I don’t know. It just pisses me off, I suppose.