Happy Retirement, Mom

Mom, I just wanted to take a second to wish you a happy retirement day. It is currently 6:37pm, so I’m sure you’re probably still in the office. If you see this, wrap it up! Go home. Relax a bit. Sheesh.

I’ve told you this for years, but you have given that place MORE than enough. You have been so grossly overworked and underpaid… and I mean damn near criminally underpaid, it is long overdue for you to leave.

Your boss… er… EX boss is in for a rude awakening when come Monday and you’re not there. She will try to fill your position for what she paid you, and maybe then she will realize how good she had it with you around. She won’t be able to find 3 people who earned what you did to split the work you covered.

Now, you can relax. Check that… you should relax, but you probably won’t. At least you won’t have to dread the end of the month any more. Plus, you can travel whenever you damn well feel like it. How great will that be?

Even better, you can now jump into the junk biz full time with dad! How exciting will that be!?