Chestnut, you suck

Awhile back I wrote about the US’s best hope to regain the coveted Yellow Mustard Belt in the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Mr. Joey Chestnut had set the American record for hot dog eating in a qualifying event. Hopes were high… almost as high as the dogs were piled. Well, in case you didn’t hear, he choked. Well, not literally, but he didn’t win.

All he was able to force down his gullet was a paltry 52 hot dogs before time expired. *Phfffft*… rookie… The famed champion Kobayashi? He got 53 3/4. Just enough to win it again.  Sixth in a row. This guy is like Jordan winning scoring titles or Gretzky winning MVP’s. He simply can’t be stopped. A machine.

Chestnut was quoted on ESPN saying, “I hit a wall. I just felt tired,”. Yeah, a wall made of processed cow hooves and pig snouts. Or, lips and assholes as dad used to say.

Well, there’s always next year.

Oh, and do us a favor… don’t mention this to any of the starving countries out there. They might be pissed.

2 Replies to “Chestnut, you suck”

  1. The great Kobayashi wins again! I was there to see it too and it was a good show (even though my view of the eaters was limited). Incredible amounts of energy in the crowd.

    It’s bizarre how passionate Koby’s fans are for him. I experienced it firsthand after the contest. Crazy, crazy stuff.

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