Author: Jason Haberman

35 years old and starting over in April 06. Moving onwards and upwards. With the help of friends, family and a little creative writing.
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I’m wondering if prison inmates in New Hampshire have any problems making license plates that read, “Live Free or Die”…

Another World Cup update. Apparently the Italians were upset with the U.S.’s use of war terminology when discussing their upcoming game. Oh give me a break. Welcome to the rough and tumble world of soccer *sarcasm*. Seriously… read that article. If you are a sports fan… check that… and AMERICAN sports fan, you will probably say, “yeah… and?..” Good thing the Italians don’t play in the NFL because their heads might explode. In case you haven’t noticed, many many sports terms have a war basis to them. Football has it’s “long bomb”, “shotgun”, “blitz”, “War Room” (for the draft), the “battery” (pitcher & catcher) in baseball, “Sudden Death”, “run and gun”, on and on and on… this is completely ignoring the fact that just about every athlete or coach interview is peppered with war analogies that they have become cliche. “go out there and battle”. Oh, and for the record, our friggin national anthem (played before EVERY sporting event) is about war as well. Get over it.

Man up, Italy. Pull your panties out of your ass and just play soccer. Quit crying. You’ll probably kick our ass anyway, so whats the point?

In other news, the apartment living room is nearing completion. I finally got some drapes up on the wall to cover the hideous mini-blinds. The room is really starting to come together. Now I just need a lamp to go behind the couch, some more stuff for the walls (maybe a big clock or a mirror or something), and a few more accent pieces (throw pillows, knick-knack stuff, candles, etc). I had the lady from the Merry Maids (yes, I’m getting a maid. I’m lazy. What’s it to ya?) come by yesterday to give me a quote on a bi-weekly cleaning deal, and she seemed really impressed with the apartment. She thought I had very good style, and wished her husband had the same. So I got that goin’ for me… which is nice. Maybe if I ever have a date, she’ll be impressed too…

Ok, US v. Italy is starting. Off to watch.

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Dumbest Trend/Story I’ve Read This Year

Ok… I just had to post something about this. Apparently, rap mogul Jay Z is initiating a boycott of Cristal Champagne, because their managing director referred the the rappers and ‘blingers’ as “unwanted attention.”

I have a number of problems with this… on both sides.

First off, how stupid does this guy have to be? In just about every rap song, some guy who grew up in the projects is now extolling the virtues of Cristal, or “the Cris” or whatever the hell else they’re calling it. The company has gotten better than free advertising, in that an entire generation of rap fans, wannabes, and hangers-on want to drink that swill at $450 a bottle. ‘Unwanted attention’ you pretentious prick? Nobody in their right mind should pay $450 a bottle for anything, let alone champagne. And you just shot your blinged out goose in the ass. Smart business there.

Secondly, why in the hell do these rappers, wannabes, general dumbasses drink something that costs that much? Ok, I can understand the rappers… I mean, they have to spend money like its going out of style (I think its written in their record contracts), and there are only so many gold teeth and Bentleys you can buy. However, I’m willing to bet that 95% of these people who have had, or want to have Cristal wouldn’t know good champagne if it rubbed Vaseline on their hineys and called them special. If you were to slap a Cristal label on a $4.78 bottle of the local brut, I guaran-damn-tee they couldn’t tell you the difference. Kinda like when you feed that annoying asshole non-alcoholic beer all night and they act like they’re so blasted. Whatever… you shithead. Even on the Sopranos this season, AJ was arguing with his parents Tony and Carmella how his Blockbuster job doesn’t pay enough and uses the argument, “the prices in the clubs is so high!… Cristal is $500 a bottle and there is a 3 bottle minimum!”. To which his folks reply, “YOU SPEND $1500 ON CHAMPAGNE!?” “Uh… not every weekend…” He is in desperate need of a punch in the face… which he never got, by the way.

Unless you’re pulling down 6 figures a year, you shouldn’t be drinking it. Even if you ARE pulling down 6 figures a year, that usually means you have some knowledge and skills that are worth 6 figures, and you should friggin know better.

Why the hell do I care? I don’t know. It just pisses me off, I suppose.

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Cars

I went to see the movie Cars last evening. By myself. Just to get out of the house and do something. It’s a step in the right direction.

For the record, I really enjoyed the movie. I knew that I would for a number of reasons. First, I’m a car guy. Not in the sense that I know how they work and how to fix them, but I’m more of a car admirer. I like to see cars, all kinds of cars, and not-so-secretly wish I drove something far more expensive and exotic than I currently do. (For the record, if there are any fabulously wealthy benefactors out there who would like to do something for some anonymous schlub on the web, my dream car is a 2007 Mercedes SL 550. Any color would work.) So, ‘Cars’ would be right up my alley. Although, I am REALLY glad that the cars in this movie didn’t come across like the cars from the Chevron commercials. I don’t know what it is, but every one of those things just feels to me slightly creepy and like the cars are always whining. Those things make me absolutely crazy. Can’t stand them. Luckily, this movie is lightyears from those damn things.

Also, I like Pixar’s work. Toy Story, Nemo, Incredibles were all terrific. I saw no reason why this should be any different. You can bank on lots of good little jokes, some visual treats you didn’t expect, and some real quality animation. Speaking of the animation, I read something interesting online about the movie. Even though the processors they used while animating this movie had 4 times the power of the ones they used while making the Incredibles, it still took an average of 17 hours to render a single frame of film. Do the math… 24 frames/second * 1 hour 56 minute runtime = 167,040 frames of animation * 17 hours = 118,320 DAYS of cpu time. Wow. I saw the movie in a digital theater, and the results were simply amazing. I might have to see it again, if only for the artwork. Some of the animation, like when the cars move at times, just looks really really good. For example, the Porsche looks really good in some places when its moving like a car (and not an anthropomorphized hunk of metal and rubber)

Third, I like all of the actors involved. Owen Wilson is one of my all-time favorites, even though he is almost the straight man in this movie. Paul Newman was friggin Reg Dunlop in ‘Slap Shot‘ for pete’s sake. Not a huge Larry the Cable Guy fan, but he is terrific in this movie as the bumkin’ tow truck. When you add in all the other little pieces that come together, the movie really starts to shine; Tony Shalhoub dusting off his Antonio Scarpacci voice from ‘Wings‘ as the Italian tire store car… Jeremy Piven playing Wilson’s agent (just as he does on Entourage) is deliciously slimy. Cheech Marin and George Carlin playing… well… Cheech Marin and George Carlin. But still terrific. Not to mention all of the cameos/famous non-actors doing voices including: racers Richard Petty, Darrell Waltrip, Mario Andretti, Michael Schumacher and Dale Earnhardt Jr… Bob Costas… Tom & Ray Magliozzi (better known as NPR’s Car Talk guys)… Everything was just terrific. If I had one casting choice to do over, there is no way in the world that I wouldn’t have R. Lee Ermey as the voice of the jeep. I think they dropped the ball there, but that is a minor quibble.

There are lots of nice little pieces in there… a automobile version of cow tipping… the Porsche’s ‘tattoo’… the valley made up of automotive looking buttes and bluffs… look closely at the flies that are buzzing around from time to time. All hallmarks of Pixar’s style. They also add some nice references to their past movies during the credits. Stay through them all… they’re worth it.

Finally, I think there is little doubt that my emotions are still not exactly what I would call ‘normal’. Tell me I didn’t feel like an ass being about 3 seconds from tearing up in various spots in the movie. I think I feel like I’m holding everything just a few inches under the surface… and it threatens to boil over at the drop of a hat. I mean, we’re not exactly talking Old Yeller here or anything. And, it wasn’t even the parts involving the ‘relationship’ between Wilson’s Lightning and Bonnie Hunt’s Sally. The things that got me were some of the friendship stuff… the route 66 and dying of ‘quaint Americana’ stuff… the pure joy of just going out for a drive… I dunno… tough to explain. Maybe the movie is designed to do this. Hopefully, its not just me. Or, maybe I’m just more susceptible to these sorts of things right now. One can wish that this is not a permanent condition.

The music was also good. A new song by Sheryl Crow… remakes of ‘Life is a Highway’ and ‘Route 66’. Even a sappy James Taylor song, that was just a little too over the top in its sentimentality (even that one didn’t get me).

All in all, I would highly recommend this movie. If anyone is interested, I would be willing to see it again with someone if they want to go to the digital Majestic theatre. It was that good. If anything, it really makes me want to get that late 60’s Cadillac convertible that my buddy George has wanted, loading up on the road trip music, and actually hitting Route 66 cross country. Staying in road side motels, eating cafe food. Enjoying the wind in your hair and the sun on your back. Maybe kids won’t get this movie. I’m seriously doubting whether a 5 year old has an appreciation for the lost Americana of yesteryear. But then again, maybe you don’t need that to enjoy the movie…

There is a terrific quote in the movie (I’m paraphrasing), “Now, people get on the road to make good time… used to be, people got on the road to have a good time.” Yeah, it harkens back to a simpler, slower time, but for me, it works.

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Another quick World Cup story

I just wanted to share this story with you people. For some reason, I just really like it.

My friend George was in Sweden in 1994 during the World Cup. One day, he was in a packed bar watching the US play on TV. Of course, he was the only American in the entire place. And, given that he was an American, he didn’t really give two shits about the World Cup. Mainly, this was just another time to be drinking. Not that George would drink or anything…

Since it was the US playing, you can pretty much guess what happened. We lost. George was most definitely ok with that, since he didn’t care in the first place. However, the entire rest of the bar didn’t share his laissez-faire attitude toward the whole thing. Upon the loss, every last person in the bar bought George a drink to console his loss. He had his entire table filled with every type of drink you could imagine. I have to believe that must have been quite a sight. Even though George is not exactly a light weight (ask him about New Years Eve, 2001) I seriously doubt he was able to put them all away. I am willing to bet, however, that he gave it a most valiant effort. George if you read this, feel free to correct any mistakes or add anything I left out. I do love that story.

That story alone makes me want to visit Sweden. Of course, the 6′ blonde women might also play a small roll in that.

In the same vein of a ‘drink covered table’ I have one other story. This was Halloween probably 1998ish. Myself, and friends Chris and John were going to a local bar for their halloween party. It was being promoted by a radio station, and thus, they were advertising $0.97 draft beers. Well, hell… you can’t beat that deal. So we costume up and head down there. We get there and get our first beers and start to have a good time. When it came time for round 2, the bartender told us, “we’re ending that promotion… it was only good until 10:00”. Astonished, but resigned to paying full price for beers, we grudgingly accepted. Except for John, that is. Being the quick-on-his-feet kinda guy that he is, he pulls out a $20 bill, slaps it on the bar and says, “It’s 4 minutes til 10… give me 20.” The bartender looks a little caught off guard. He turns to his manager, who replies, “the man ordered them… serve them up.” So John, Chris, and myself start a fire-brigade style line to move these 20 beers from the bar to our parking lot… er… table. I do love that mental image of all those beers lined up on the table. We proceeded to drink those for the rest of the night. Sure, they got a little warm, but hell… once you get 3 or 4 drafts in, you really don’t care anymore.

A tremendous night all the way around. By the way, my costume was ‘windblown man’. I had an overcoat that mom sewed a wire hanger in the hem to make it fly away from my body. I put a hanger in a tie, and had it flinging back over my shoulder. I taped various leaves, newspaper bits, and various other trash type items to my coat, and pants. One of my greatest costumes ever.

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IE Issues – Part 2

As you can see, if you’ve been here before, the look of the site is totally different now. After wrastlin’ with the old theme I had for the site for about 2 hours, I finally gave up and used a new one. One of the problems the old theme had was that thing had more errors than a blind shortstop. I believe when I validated it, it came back with some 35 separate xhtml errors. In laymans terms, thats not good.

Of course, if you try to validate this theme, you get a lot of errors as well, but 99% of them are due to the statistic tracking code at the bottom of the page. The xhtml validator doesn’t like how that’s put together. I’ll have to do a little research to see if that is something I should be worried about or not.

On the plus side, this theme looks identical in IE and Firefox. Apparently, the shmoes in Redmond still can’t figure out how to get in line with everyone else on CSS. One would think that the biggest software company in the world could figure this out, but I guess not. I don’t have any other browsers installed, but I’m assuming its good across the board. Maybe thats just cause I’m lazy and this project is for fun. Who knows.

So, if you like the new look, I’d like to hear about it. If you don’t… piss off.

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IE Issues

Ok… I’ve just noticed that this site looks all screwed up when viewing in Internet Explorer. I never bothered to look at it in IE since I always use a real browser, Firefox. There is something wrong with the formatting CSS on the right navigation for those headers. So, for everyone who uses Firefox, nevermind. Everyone else… oops.

Why didn’t anyone tell me? Sheesh. I feel like a schmuck. I’m supposed to be a professional web developer for christ sake. In the imortal words of Ron Burgandy, “What is this!? Amateur hour!?”

I shall repair asap. And hopfully recover a little dignity in the process.

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World Cup… Game On

World Cup has started. I sat down and actually watched my first ‘match’ (see… I even know the lingo) on Saturday. I gotta say, soccer in High Def is very nice to watch. Then, I flipped to regular def and the game looked like I was watching it though a mud puddle. Man, I cannot wait for more High Def programming.

Anyway, I was watching Sweden vs. Trinidad & Tobago. I have to admit that I enjoyed it. However, I did have 2 major problems with ABC’s coverage of the game. Technically, they did a good job. Lots of cameras, good replays, high def (like I mentioned) but they really screwed the pooch in two places.

First, one of the teams involved in this game was Sweden. Half of the stadium was completely decked out in yellow and blue (Swedish flag colors). Unfortunately, ABC did not spend the stoppages in play showing us audience shots of 6 foot blonde Swedish goddesses cheering on their team. This is unconscionable. Isn’t that the whole reason the rest of the world watches Sweden do anything? If Sweden has an advantage in any department, its gotta be in 6 foot blonde goddesses. How you cannot spare the camera time and give the fans at home a little taste of what its like at the World Cup, is just irresponsible.

My second major problem came with the announcing team. Now, they knew the game. They could describe what was happening and explain why certain things were going on. That’s all well and good. But, to me, you absolutely cannot have 2 American guys covering soccer on TV. How they could not have brought in some guy with an Irish, Scottish, or English accent for at least one of the positions in the broadcast team is just plain wrong. I watch soccer once every 4 years. Nobody gives a damn about the MLS (Major League Soccer in the US). If I see any soccer on TV, 100% of the time, the announcing team comes from a country that actually cares about soccer. It just doesn’t sound right coming from someone without an accent. I mean, would you expect there to NOT be someone with a southern accent on a NASCAR broadcast crew? Absolutely not. Hell, I would have settled for the guy from Univision who shouts “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!”. At least there would be some international flavor.

I guess that entire post is a prime example of an American and soccer. The only complaints are hot blonde chicks and foreign guys.

Oh yeah… I think the game ended in tie or something. I wasn’t paying attention.

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A Well Spent $47

I’ve had a decent couple days. Apart for the being awake all night Wed, but lets just pretend that didn’t happen. Beers with dad was fun Wednesday evening. It wasn’t too crazy hot outside yet, and we had a table. Those retired guys can get down to where the little festival is before the rest of us working shlubs can. I never used to go down there because standing in the sun, unable to move, holding your beer about 6 inches from your face cause that’s all the space you had. That would suck, so I never did it. However, I did notice that now that I’m single, that should be the place I hang out. Holy cow. Women all over the place. Of course, in my entire life I’ve never met a woman like that, but that’s beside the point.

Last night, I thought I would go out and watch the first game of the NBA finals. Have a beer and some dinner. Hang out. I went down to the Ha’ Penny again (see Roller Coaster). Whether anyone would be there or not, I didn’t care. I walk in and see Barry (the owner) and Coach Mac (local basketball coach). I sit with them and kinda shoot the shit a little bit and watch the beginning of the game. Had a beer. Another guy, John, (owner of the Big Easy) who is a friend of Barry and an acquaintance of mine, came by and they talked about going to get dinner. They invited me to come along, and I had originally turned them down, not wanting to feel like I was imposing. But then I realized that was stupid, and went with them. We went down to another sports pub Busters, to eat and watch the rest of the game. Had a good time. It was nice to be out with some new-old people. (if that makes sense)

A couple appetizers, 4 beers and 4 entrees later we were finishing up. Waitress comes by and I just give her my card and tell her I’ll get it. Of course, they all objected. But I held my ground and just said, “Hey guys, I’m flush now. I can get it. Who knew marriage was so expensive, huh?” Well, they were very appreciative. When I got the check, it was remarkably cheap. $47 something. Sheeeeit… that’s nothing. I don’t spend much money anymore. I’ve got well over a whole paycheck in my checking account, and payday is in 5 days again. Not to mention that there is whole other paycheck that rent will come out of (on the first). That never happened when I was married, or if it did, it was for a very short time until the recently written checks cleared. But I digress…. they thanked me profusely, “You didn’t have to do that.” etc. I guess they didn’t realize it was well worth 47 bones to me just be included with those guys.

Other thoughts.

World Cup starts today. Also starting today is the avalanche of “Soccer is loved in the rest of the world but not in the US” columns from every sports writer in America. I mean, honestly… that is the laziest topic they could possibly write about. Is there anyone on the planet that doesn’t know that already? Certainly every sports fan in America (a.k.a. the people who read said sports columns) already knows this.

However, I’m bucking the trend. I kinda like to watch soccer. But, its kinda like a slower hockey, so I can see the strategy behind it. Granted, there isn’t a ton of scoring. But, I figure as long as there are some good shots, saves, a couple yellow cards, and at least one guy who’s knocked down and spends 30 seconds rolling around holding his knee like it just exploded, and then proceeds to get up and stays in the game. Who couldn’t like that? Also, I’ve been playing a little video world cup soccer which always seems to pique my interest in something.

So, Go USA. If we get out of our group it will be a miracle.

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It’s Early…

Talk about your bad nights. I spent all night tossing and turning. Here’s what happened. Last evening, I had a few beers with dad, then a full meal at mom and dad’s place. So, when I got home about 8:30, I was tired, full, and ready to go to bed. I watched a little TV until about 10, then hit the rack.

I made the mistake of thinking I was sufficiently tired enough that I didn’t need to take my Ambien to sleep. Apparently, that was a bad idea. I might have dozed off a couple times, but not for more than 15 to 20 minutes at a time. But I laid there for hours. Rolling around… under the covers, out of the covers, etc etc. Horrible.

Finally about 4:30, I decided to turn on the TV. I figured that was a little early to head to work, so I had to kill a little time. Watched for about 45 minutes (holy shit, half of the channels I have are friggin’ infomercials at 4 in the morning… have they no soul?) then decided to get up and head to work. I stopped for a mocha and a muffin on my way in, and was still here before 6.

In a perfect world, I would be able to leave work at 2pm… however, I completely forgot that I have a staff meeting at 2 today. So, there will be no going home early. Not to mention, that I have a meeting after work for my 2nd job. Today is gonna be a tough one.

Well, I’m going to try to not doze off. I think I’m the only one on the entire floor here at work. The lights in the building are all motion sensored to turn on, so the whole building is dark. Almost spooky. Plus, the lights around my desk never seem to turn on when I come in. I don’t know where the sensor is, so I’m standing here waving my arms like a schmuck trying to get some lights on. I managed to get one bank on, but the rest are still out.

Until later.

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More Randomness

Hello all… here is some more random items I’ve come across lately. In no particular order.

I have noticed something. Anymore when I’m talking with someone, and somehow the subject brings up a memory I would normally share of when G and I were together I check up. Its not that it makes me sad. I dunno… its like I shouldn’t be talking about it or something. Maybe I’m trying to not make other people uncomfortable. Perhaps its kinda like when you have a new girlfriend, and you’re reminded something of your old girlfriend… that is just better left unsaid. Most every man knows that. Maybe there’ll be a day when that doesn’t happen.

Another development recently is I have been unconsciously chewing the hell out of my lower lip. I have never done that in my life, and now I catch myself gnawing on it all the time. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m one of those people who have a hard time leaving things alone, so when the skin in front of my front lower teeth is chewed up, I keep playing with it with my tongue. I’m making my self crazy. Or, perhaps I’m already crazy. *shrug*

On to something better. My favorite writer is named Bill Simmons, a.k.a. The Sports Guy. He writes columns for espn.com (you can find the link to the right). He hits a lot of topics including a lot of non-sports stuff… Pop Culture, TV, News, etc. Perhaps he writes a little too much about the NBA for my taste, but what can ya do. Anyway, he has this thing he calls the Unintentional Comedy Scale. That is all those things that make you laugh but aren’t designed to be comedy. For example, here are a few entries with their corresponding scores on there. “65 – Tim Robbins pitching in “Bull Durham”, “70 – every episode of “Friends” where Chandler is abnormally skinny or fat”, “86 – PGA golfers awkwardly high-fiving their caddies after making an improbable shot”, and a previous perfect 100 score for “the wedding video of Liza Minnelli and David Gest”. Well, everything has been dropped a full spot. There is a new champion of Unintentional Comedy. This following video has shattered the scale. Absolutely unbelievable. You have to watch this thing. Especially stay until the 3:52 mark… it tops itself again. Transcendental.

Rocket Man