Dumbest Trend/Story I’ve Read This Year

Ok… I just had to post something about this. Apparently, rap mogul Jay Z is initiating a boycott of Cristal Champagne, because their managing director referred the the rappers and ‘blingers’ as “unwanted attention.”

I have a number of problems with this… on both sides.

First off, how stupid does this guy have to be? In just about every rap song, some guy who grew up in the projects is now extolling the virtues of Cristal, or “the Cris” or whatever the hell else they’re calling it. The company has gotten better than free advertising, in that an entire generation of rap fans, wannabes, and hangers-on want to drink that swill at $450 a bottle. ‘Unwanted attention’ you pretentious prick? Nobody in their right mind should pay $450 a bottle for anything, let alone champagne. And you just shot your blinged out goose in the ass. Smart business there.

Secondly, why in the hell do these rappers, wannabes, general dumbasses drink something that costs that much? Ok, I can understand the rappers… I mean, they have to spend money like its going out of style (I think its written in their record contracts), and there are only so many gold teeth and Bentleys you can buy. However, I’m willing to bet that 95% of these people who have had, or want to have Cristal wouldn’t know good champagne if it rubbed Vaseline on their hineys and called them special. If you were to slap a Cristal label on a $4.78 bottle of the local brut, I guaran-damn-tee they couldn’t tell you the difference. Kinda like when you feed that annoying asshole non-alcoholic beer all night and they act like they’re so blasted. Whatever… you shithead. Even on the Sopranos this season, AJ was arguing with his parents Tony and Carmella how his Blockbuster job doesn’t pay enough and uses the argument, “the prices in the clubs is so high!… Cristal is $500 a bottle and there is a 3 bottle minimum!”. To which his folks reply, “YOU SPEND $1500 ON CHAMPAGNE!?” “Uh… not every weekend…” He is in desperate need of a punch in the face… which he never got, by the way.

Unless you’re pulling down 6 figures a year, you shouldn’t be drinking it. Even if you ARE pulling down 6 figures a year, that usually means you have some knowledge and skills that are worth 6 figures, and you should friggin know better.

Why the hell do I care? I don’t know. It just pisses me off, I suppose.

8 Replies to “Dumbest Trend/Story I’ve Read This Year”

  1. I think it was on MTV Cribs and I can’t remember the rapper, but there was a spot done around this clown that bought a Mercedes Benz SL series ride and wasn’t happy with the ‘brand new leather seats’ that come with the car…ok whatever, everybody as their ‘thing’. To meet his satisfaction, he has some custom shop rip the ‘non worthy’ leather off the seats and replace it with signature ‘Louis Vuitton’ leather…to the tune of $150,000. Ok, now the seats cost more than the car. When he decides to trade the car in, I’m sure he’ll get his money out of the upgrade…yeah right. I remember the first time I went shopping for an SL, I too turned up my nose at the stock leather seating, and could not understand how anyone would be satisfied with it…give me a break.

  2. Jason, don’t we all remember just how lousy a stock SL can be? Attrocious.

    I can’t watch Cribs any more… I just feel like ripping my hair out when its on.

    I don’t know why it bothers me that someone with a 4th grade education is spending $200,000 a year on sneakers… oh wait… no, I do know why…

  3. Oh, and “LV” seats?!? C’mon… you cant tell me that he couldnt have gone Swap Meet Louie and come out ahead on this deal…

  4. Well, the LV seats probably match the diamond studded platinum grilles on his teeth…now those are positively the stupidest things I’ve ever seen. Talk about looking like a jackass. No wait, I’ll take it one step further…I seem to recall one of those guys looking into grilles for their dog too, along with a ‘spinner’ medallion for the collar. AAAAARRRRRGH!!!! *banging head against the wall*

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