Wedding Plan Setback or Back Where We Started

Well, in the midst of my working 70 hour weeks recently, we’ve had what some might construe a setback in our wedding plans.

For a number of reasons, we will no longer be married in St. John’s cathedral here in Boise.

This has sort of been building ever since we thought that was what we might want to do. We had plans and hoped they would all work out. However, the Catholic Church has ways of making even the best intentions fall short.

We started off exploring the idea, and began all the paperwork to get my previous marriage “annulled” in the eyes of the church. They certainly don’t make things easy, as we had to wait for weeks and weeks to get cleared.

One of the main reasons we wanted to get married at that particular church was for the priest there. Fr. John Legerski. I’ve really liked him, and he has been sort of a family friend to Jess’ family. Well, Jess was speaking with him when he dropped a bit of a bombshell on us. The diocese is switching up all the priests in June, so he most likely won’t even be there to perform the service. Well, that sucks. Something one would think he might mention at the beginning of the whole process, no? Who knows who would be the priest there, or if we would even like him.

As far as times for the service on Saturday the 16th of August we had two options, neither of which were what we wanted. Either 2pm or 7pm. Well, 2 is way too early, and 7:00 is pushing the limits on when the reception was to start. Apparently, there was zero flexibility in those times. Not to mention, the near 200 people guest list would either be too big for the small chapel there, and look rather paltry in the main church.

Throughout this whole process they have succeeded in making this great celebratory event feel more like a burden to them. Damn near like we weren’t wanted. We have had to pull and prod to get any information or anything. Just disappointing.

I guess what really sealed our decision was the cumulation of the above factors combined with the fact that neither Jess nor I are practicing parishioners. We got to thinking that we might have been making this choice for incorrect reasons. Namely, it would make all of the parents happy. It was perhaps a bit hypocritical of us to try and go this way. Frankly, the church route just didn’t feel like “Us”. And after some discussion, we finally reached our decision. It appears that we aren’t the only ones… we fit squarely in the “younger” category of this story.

That being said, we’re back at square one. We’re probably 95% sure the service will be in the upper level of the Linen Building where we originally thought it would be. Personally, I think this is a great place, specifically because it is such a great space, plus there is no transportation back and forth… nobody has to be in charge of moving gifts or making sure everyone knows where to go.

So, now you’re up to date. Hope we didn’t get anyone’s hopes up for a big church wedding. Who knew that this was such a stressful deal when you are actually included in the decision making process?

Those who know me and my story will get that comment.

6 Replies to “Wedding Plan Setback or Back Where We Started”

  1. All I can say is, it is your and Jess’ special day and your beginning together, so you have to do what is right for the two of you–not what you think someone else would like for you to do. Truth be told, it seemed ironic to me that you would marry in the church when Kris, who had been a practicing Catholic her whole life, was made to feel an outsider, and couldn’t work out marrying there. Fr John, as much as I like him, isn’t exactly helpful when it comes to helping with a huge, stressful event like a wedding. We want the best for both of you!

  2. I most definitely look back on some aspects our my wedding ceremony that were decided to please family members with regret so I’m happy to hear that you aren’t making the same mistakes. This special day is yours alone!

  3. Hoh-boy do I know how you feel. The whole part about how they seem to make your nuptials seem like a big fat burden is spot on. One of the many reasons why I’ve decided to go to a Christian church now. Much more of a “come as you are” kind of place. At least you guys had a back-up plan. I can only imagine the kind of stress that would create. So good for you for taking care of business. Sucks that you went through all the hoop jumping first but wherever the ceremony is, it’s going to be freaking awesome.

  4. My wedding was for everyone but us. Make it about you both and you will be much happier. Thanks for the information on the linen building also, we just booked our company holiday party there based on your link! Stay positive! 🙂

  5. Thusly, I’m a Recovering Catholic. No use for jumping thru all those stupid hoops just cuz some old man says so….

    Do what you guys want and it will be marvelous. And much less stressful.

  6. Sorry, been on the East Coast for a few days… just got back.

    You remember my wedding, right? 90% of it was not for us and at the end of that day, and even right now, I could not tell you most of what transpired that day.

    Oh yeah… it was a cold day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *