Category: Work

Mom, I just wanted to take a second to wish you a happy retirement day. It is currently 6:37pm, so I’m sure you’re probably still in the office. If you see this, wrap it up! Go home. Relax a bit. Sheesh.

I’ve told you this for years, but you have given that place MORE than enough. You have been so grossly overworked and underpaid… and I mean damn near criminally underpaid, it is long overdue for you to leave.

Your boss… er… EX boss is in for a rude awakening when come Monday and you’re not there. She will try to fill your position for what she paid you, and maybe then she will realize how good she had it with you around. She won’t be able to find 3 people who earned what you did to split the work you covered.

Now, you can relax. Check that… you should relax, but you probably won’t. At least you won’t have to dread the end of the month any more. Plus, you can travel whenever you damn well feel like it. How great will that be?

Even better, you can now jump into the junk biz full time with dad! How exciting will that be!?

Today was the first day of my next career. I have to admit, it was a strange feeling that I haven’t had in a long time. Everyone knows those first day jitters, be it in a new school or job. Just those butterflies about what’s new and different.

New faces, new places.

But everyone I met was exceptionally friendly. I think I will fit in just fine. I did bring 4 dozen Krispy Kremes to bribe my way to a leg up in people’s minds. You gotta do what ya gotta do.

Of course, my first day didn’t exactly come off without a hitch due to a combination of issues.

Apparently a developer left the company yesterday, and he had a desk by the windows. Thus, there was a seniority rule in effect for anyone who wanted to sit there. All this shifting could cause a cascade of desk moves, so exactly where I would sit was up in the air.

But the bigger issue was that the PC they ordered for me was on backorder. It was supposed to arrive today, but somehow got delayed until tomorrow.  So, I had nothing to work on, nor anywhere to do it… but everything should come together tomorrow.

Basically, my day went like this. I got there about 8:45 after making the Krispy Kreme run and after a quick loop around the office, it was time to get down to all the paperwork. Who doesn’t love paperwork anyway? After getting that all finished, I met with some of the tech people for a bit. Then, Mike, the tech manager, pretty much said that I could bug out if I wanted to, since there wasn’t much for me to do. I figured I might as well, since I didn’t want to keep anyone else from their work by entertaining me. So, I left about 10:30 with plans to return at 3pm for the tech team meeting.

That meeting took all of 30 minutes, so all in all I “worked” just over 2 hours today… and that was STILL more than I had to do at HP.

Tomorrow, I’m heading in at noon (as they need to have time to receive and setup my PC). Whew… all this work is really taxing!

A few more post HP thoughts.

I have to say, it is now quite strange to drive past HP and realize that I no longer work there. Just a very odd feeling. Also, another odd feeling was to be technically unemployed for an entire weekend. I mean, the last time that happened was in 1994 when I was laid off from the law firm runner position before I started delivering pizzas for Pizza Hut. Thats a long time. I suppose, technically it is only the second time since I started working at the age of 16 to not currently be employed, and that was when I quit Nu Look Car Wash in the last few months of my senior year to be able to enjoy those festivities. Of course, I started working immediately after graduation.

I have to admit, I feel a bit odd about not working today or tomorrow morning, despite the fact that this is no fault of my own. Damn this pesky work ethic!

Anyway, I’m off and running in Wirestone’s corral. Granted, I didn’t exactly shoot from the gates at top speed, but I will get there soon enough.

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

-T.S. Eliot

Indeed, this is how my HP world ended. Certainly not a bang, but with a whimper. I got home from what was my last “day” with HP and started this post. Actually, this day was exactly 38 minutes long. My exit interview was scheduled for 9:30am Friday morning. I arrived a little before 9 to finish cleaning up some things on my PC and to get my last load of crap out to the car.

I find it amusing that they still call it an “exit interview”. Quite frankly, it was more of an “escort out of the building” than an interview. According to the HP Portal, the exit interview consists of sitting down with one’s manager who asks about why you’re leaving, your overall HP experience, how they could improve things, etc. In actuality, here’s how it went.

The guy performing the “interview” was someone I’d never met since my latest manager (as of 3 weeks ago, I think the 10th I’ve had in 8 years) was remote. In fact, I spoke to my actual manager exactly once. So, this process was sub-contracted out to a local manager. Now, he was a nice enough guy. I think he was more happy that my leaving was on good terms. I really got the impression that he’s done more than one of these where the person leaving is none too pleased about it. Welcome to the wonderful world of corporate layoff culture. Anyway, I soon realized that there was going to be no “interview”. I gathered up my remaining shit and headed to the door.

Opened the card controlled double doors, handed him my badge, and poof… Gone. That’s it. The ultimate whimper.

The accompanying picture you see above is, in fact, the final door closing on my HP career. I was able to whip out my camera and snatch one shot before the door finished closing. Not often that you get an image of both and actual and metaphorical event in one shot.

Continue reading “And so it ends…”

No offers have been extended.

Yes, I’m dying too.

Its almost here. The “final” interview.

Wish me luck.

Check back for an update.