I have something I need to complain about so bear with me.
You have undoubtedly seen those commercials for that fancy new 5 bladed “Fusion” razor and how superior it is over the Mach3.Â (View One Here)Â More blades!Â Closer together!Â Less irritation!Â Shave in 1/8th the time!Â Get more sex!Â You can’t miss them… I think there is one played every single commercial break.Â If you were to judge by the shear volume of those commercials, you would assume that 5 blades are right next to the wheel and the electric light bulb in terms of importance to mankind, and in contrast, if you’re shaving with only 3 blades, you are an uneducated troglodyte who would be better off basically ripping the hair out of your face by the root.
The only problem?Â THEY ARE BOTH MADE BY GILLETTE!
It has taken me this long to put the pieces together and I own a Mach3.Â Essentially, they are spending millions of dollars, advertising against themselves!Â Anyone else find that supremely stupid?Â Anyone?Â I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!
Tiger Woods… I love ya buddy, but if I have to see another lame ass commercial of you, Federer the crier and that head-butting soccer schmuck I’m going to lose it.
I think my only recourse is to boycott all Gillette razors.Â Gillette, you have angered me.Â In result, you have lost me as a customer.
Whew… I feel better.