I think we have the worst paperboy on the planet. Ok, that might be a tad strong. I’m sure there are worse ones. But ours still makes me crazy.
The positives. We almost always actually get our paper. That’s it.
The problem arises upon said deliveries. See, the guy can’t seem to get the paper more than 10 feet away from the street. We have a 15 foot strip of gravel (owned by the city) before our driveway actually starts. The days that the paper actually makes it ON to the driveway are rare and amazing. I know that this is a full grown adult, no some 13 year old trying to make a buck. For some reason, in my head I see this guy trying to throw the paper with little tiny Tyrannosaurus Rex arms and that simply is as far as he can heave it.
Of course, that is not the case. More likely he is just a lazy SOB.
This winter has been exceptionally bad with all the snow. When you have to get fully dressed, including your shoes, in order to go out and get the paper, that is just wrong. Even better, when there is 3 inches of snow on top of the paper so you gotta find it first then dig for it. At least he can put the damn things in bags, but still. I mean, we have a covered porch, a perfect landing spot for a paper to wait diligently for us to pick up. I would love to just lean our the door and scoop the paper. But obviously this is much to much to ask for.
So, all of you who could pick up your paper in the nude if you so choose, I envy you (I just don’t want to see it).
Well we have a paper delivery lady who opens the outer door and stands the paper up between the two doors. At first this drove Josie nuts, you really do not want to hear a mini schnauser at 0400 going off like a bottle rocket, she did that for about 2 weeks and finally learned to sleep through it. I think we had a sub last week as the dog went nuts at 0345 two nights in a row and I suspect it was the paper delivery, who the hell else is out in this neighborhood at that time?
who the hell else is out in this neighborhood at that time?
Insomniacs, milk men, and sheep rapists.
And I have a small dog screaming her head off so I get up and look out to see who is pissing her off to such a degree, but they they are long gone, so I go and take a pee and back to bed. sigh!
oh my brother dear, that is the joy of having a mini schnauzer! Nothing gets past them!
Devil’s Advocate Says:
Most folks I know who deliver the paper are older and more than likely retired folks making the money stretch a bit longer. (No one told them they would live past 70)
Tossing papers out of a car window at 4 am…? I think even a pitcher’s aim would be off at that time of day.
Here’s a quick fix… call the paper. Ask for a paperbox. Done. No more looking for your paper. Its in the box.
It blows my mind that anyone actually gets a paper delivered to their house these days. Its much easier for me to just power up the pc in the morning and view the news from my computer. Of course, I do miss the ads enticing me to buy things. 🙂
I thought you had to be over 40 to have home delivery of the Statesman. Though I realize we are approaching 40 rapidly.