Can’t Sleep

Here it is, Friday night, midnight. I’m blogging instead of sleeping. The Ambien I took an hour ago doesn’t appear to be doing its job. Oh well… I’ll continue with my story.

After getting the hotel and finding an apartment that I could get into that weekend, everything seemed to calm down a little bit. I was still down, but it didn’t seem as bad. Of course, I didn’t talk to ‘G’ (which is what the ex-wife will be called from here on) at all that week. Might have been part of the reason. I think that Thursday I got drinks with my friends George and Chris. They were really cool about not pressing too hard and just letting me go. Both were quite shocked this happened since they had just been over to the house the week before. Yeah, well, join the club boys.

Got the movers setup for Saturday morning. Apparently, all of my stuff was packed up and in the garage. A rather unceremonious way to move out of a house you love, but I digress. Feeling like I’ve kinda got a handle on things. Until Saturday comes.

The day was rainy and dreary. Movers were meeting me at the house at 9am. I got there a little early to pack some stuff into my car (computer gear and loose books mostly) that I didn’t want the movers to deal with. Needless to say, seeing my entire life boxed up and sitting in the garage was not easy. In fact, it sucked badly. That day was quite horrible across the board. See, when you hire movers, they do the work, you stand around and watch them. And every single piece they would pick up and load had memories all over it. I think I was about 10 seconds from tears the entire day. It took about 2 hours to load it all up. G came out and gave me my plants and a couple other things that were still in the house. And left. Didn’t help my state of mind much.

Upon arrival at the new apartment, movers start to move stuff up. I’m on the third floor with some narrow stairs. So, while they’re working, I’m clanging around the empty apartment with plenty of time to think. Thinking is most defintely not what I wanted to be doing. I would direct them when they came in as to where to put stuff, but the apartment is not large, so its not too difficult to figure out. Them bringing in my leather couch was so painful, I couldn’t even watch. They practically perform origami on the damn thing to fit it through the door. But they did it, and didn’t rip the leather. Well done, boys.

So, while they’re still bringing up stuff, I thought I might open a few boxes and see what’s what. Remember now, I didn’t pack any of this. I don’t know what I might have gotten or not gotten from the house. Here is a little exercise for you. Have something VERY tramatic happen to you. Ok, after thats done, leave your house and don’t come back for a week. With me? Now, try to remember everything you own in the world… your house is full of the stuff. Now open a bunch of boxes and make sure you got it all. Not easy, nor fun, nor, frankly very fair at all. I’ll get back to what I got and didn’t get later. Besides, at this point, I can’t remember stuff I was told 20 minutes ago. My brain had devolved into tapioca. No other way to describe it. I had a jumble of numbers wizzing around my head… address is 6…uh… ok phone number… 939.. something. New work phone number we just got… No effin clue. It was the address one that really messed me up. Even today, I still have to pause and think about it. I feel like a total tard.
Anyway, once the movers were done, I setup my bed and computer and plugged in the television. I was desperate for distraction. Hadn’t been on a pc in a week… withdrawl city man. Although, it had sort of lost a little appeal for me at the moment. I pretty much didn’t do anything for the rest of the day except sit there. TV was on, but I don’t know if I could characterize what I was doing as ‘watching’ exactly. Perhaps I was meditating without knowing it? Is that possible?

Ok, wrapping this up. We’re through the first 5 full days. Only about 18,250 left, give or take.

Ambien….is kickkkkkk innngg inlk;;;kfa nkml,b.,,,,, zzzzzzzzzzz