Author: Jason Haberman

35 years old and starting over in April 06. Moving onwards and upwards. With the help of friends, family and a little creative writing.
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Black Wind – Clive Cussler

Black Wind – Clive Cussler

In my series of book reviews (aka bitching about what makes me crazy in the books I read) up next is a book called Black Wind by Clive Cussler. If you plan to read this book, don’t read this review. Just saying.

I have never read a Cussler book. Before I started, I sought out a few opinions from friends and family and pretty much always got the same response. “Dirk Pitt is a superman who always has a wisecrack after beating the current foe”. Ok, I thought, I could live with that. I’ve read books like that before. More on this in a minute.

Here is the paperback synopsis:

In the waning days of World War II, the Japanese tried a last desperate measure — sending two submarines to the United states armed with a new biological virus. Neither sub made it to the designated target. But that does not mean that they were lost. Someone knows where the subs might be, and has an extraordinary plan for the virus — a scheme that could reshape the world as we know it. All that stands in the way are three people: a marine biologist named Summer, a marine engineer named Dirk, and their father, Dirk Pitt, the new head of NUMA. Pitt has faced devastating enemies before, and has even teamed up with his children to track them down. But never before has he looked upon the face of pure evil… until now.

Ok… sounds pretty exciting, I thought. Which was why I bought the book.

Going in, not having read any of the other “Dirk Pitt” novels, I don’t have any history with him or his kids. I’m only going by what is in this book. Apparently, “marine engineers” are not what I thought they were. I kind of picture a guy with a weathered face, an anchor tattoo and clothes that smell like motor oil and fish. Obviously, I’m way behind the times. This guy, Dirk Junior, is so much more. We first meet him as he is piloting a helicopter that is shot down, which he survives without a scratch. This was to be only the first of many such escapes. Later, he identifies a ‘tail’ of two bad guys, then proceeds to out drive the two assassins while they are peppering his car with automatic gun fire (who both die in the resulting crash). He also can drive any submersible craft in existence (demonstrated multiple times). I’m getting ahead of myself here. That was only the first 200 pages of this 600 page book.

Let me give you a more detailed synopsis. Basically an obscenely rich South Korean business owner, who is really a North Korean agent, is hatching this plan. His plan is to simultaneously turn the South Korean peoples’ opinion against the US forces, attack the US with biological WMD’s, framing Japan for said attacks, all in an effort to get Korea to vote out the US military to allow the North to sweep in and reunite the country, counting on the US being too distracted by the millions of deaths from small pox to respond. Pretty simple, right? So, Kang, the evil mastermind behind it all, has some diplomats killed in Japan. Frames a US Serviceman for a rape/murder in Seoul, and exerts influence on a bunch of South Korean politicians he has in his pocket. Of course, no one knows he is a North Korean Agent. The ball is in motion.

His plan hinges on recovering these biological agents from the sunken submarines. Long story short, he gets them. With the Pitts right on his tail. Dirk and Summer are actually recovering the virus bombs from the second submarine when their research ship is attacked by the bad guys. Bad guys take Dirk and Summer hostage and seal the rest of the crew in a hold and sink the ship before leaving. (of course, the crew escapes a the last second thanks to Dirk) Dirk and Summer get taken back to Kang’s cliff side lair on the Han river outside of Seoul.

Up until this point, the book is fairly decent. The only thing that made me cringe was a scene when Dirk goes to visit a professor friend of his looking for research information on the Japanese biological efforts in WWII. Well, according to the book, this professor has developed something that is simply amazing to anyone who understands computers, programming and the like:

… Max was an artificial intelligence system with a virtual interface in the form of a holographic image. The brainchild of Yeager to aid in researching voluminous databases, he had cleverly modeled the visual interfaces after his wife, Elsie, adding a sensual voice and saucy personality. On a platform opposite the horseshoe console, and attractive woman with auburn hair and topaz eyes suddenly appeared. She was dressed in a skimpy halter top that revealed her navel and a very short leather skirt.
“Good Morning Gentlemen,” the three dimensional image murmured.
“Hi Max. You remember the younger Dirk Pitt?”
“Of course. Nice to see you again, Dirk.”
“You’re looking good, Max.”
“I’d look better if Hiram would stop dressing me in Britney Spears outfits,” she replied with distain, rolling her hands down her body.

Good god. Now this book was set in 2007. I’m no authority, but artificial intelligence still can only do what it is programmed to do. The amount of programming and processing power to simulate a personality, voice, face (and gender) recognition, generate a 3d holographic image (detailed enough to have “topaz eyes”), spew pop culture references, and search thousands of public and private databases would be unbelievably immense. If the book was set in 2017? Maybe. Now? No way in hell. Not only can it speak, it can search all of these databases, then instantly summarize all of that data and speak the results to you like you would expect a teacher to do who just read a encyclopedia entry. Simply put, this technology does not exist. To think that a single guy put this together by 2007 is laughable. I actually had to go back and check when this book was set, and make sure I read that this was a virtual person. I did laugh out loud when I read it. But I digress.

Upon reaching Kang’s compound, they have dinner with their host. Here comes the exceedingly obvious James-Bond-villain-explains-the-whole-plot-to-the-heroes-because-he-plans-to-kill-them-anyway scene. In this case, he plans to drown them as the tide comes in by chaining them to a concrete block. All I’m thinking while reading this scene is Austin Powers…

Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy’s nemesis, Austin Powers
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don’t you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I’m going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
…
Dr. Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.
[guard starts dipping mechanism]
Dr. Evil: Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren’t you even going to watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No no no, I’m going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I’m just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I’ll get it, I’ll come back down here, BOOM, I’ll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don’t get it, do ya? You don’t.

Anyway, being marine type people they can hold their breaths and swim like champions, so they escape the rising tide with the help of a small metal nail file to saw through the iron shackles. All in the nick of time, of course. That was handy.

As they’re swimming across this 5 mile wide river at night being chased by Dr. Evil… er… I mean Kang’s henchmen in a speedboat, they are picked up by a sloop that his puttering along the river. In the most ego-centric move I have ever run across in a book, the character that rescues them is named… “Clive Cussler”. That’s right. He put HIMSELF in the book! Unbelievable. He even described himself with “blue-green eyes, which seemed to twinkle with mischief…” Give me a break. If the Austin Powers routine wasn’t enough, this maneuver completely destroyed any faith I had left in the story.

So, they escape and make it back to Washington DC and fully brief the government on what they’ve learned. Not only have the bad guys recovered the virus from the submarines, they have in less than a few weeks, completely re-engineered it to be immune to current small pox vaccines AND added HIV into it which will kill all of the people who survive the small pox. Amazingly efficient, this evil organization is. Especially with nobody the wiser.

Upon learning that someone is specifically planning on launching some sort of biological attack that will kill millions upon MILLIONS and essentially destroy our entire civilization, what do they do? Send a few coast guard cutters and a blimp to protect the entire western seaboard. Pitifully small response, you’re thinking? Gee… so was I. But if there were war ships and aircraft and thousands of sailors and marines guarding us, how could the Pitts be the heroes?

All that came to my mind right here is this… why wouldn’t the President simply issue a statement to the world saying they have credible evidence of an impending biological attack against the US. All he would have to say is if there is a single case of small pox anywhere on US soil, we are immediately launching a nuclear strike against Pyongyang (N. Korea capitol). See, that is the thing. When a state is sponsoring such actions, you know where to find them! This isn’t bin Laden in the middle of the desert. I guarantee, this would put a crimp in their plans. Perhaps they think twice about launching such a strike. Game over. End of story. Drive home safely. I guess I have read too many of these books. Besides, I think I should mention that this plan is WAY overkill for what they are trying to accomplish. I mean, the KISS rule (keep it simple, stupid) has never been violated more flagrantly.

Again, long story short, the bad guys hijack a sea based satellite launching platform and sail it just off Santa Nicolas island, 75 miles west of LA. The platform is spotted by the blimp (flown by Dirk Sr. of course) and when they check with the company that owns it, they learn that the platform is supposed to be on the equator for launch. Platform is approached by a coast guard ship which is promptly blown out of the water with a surface to surface missile. What is our response upon learning that they are obviously going to use a giant rocket to deliver the virus and launch is in an hour and a half (thanks to the clichéd big red digital readout countdown), you ask? Let me tell you… NOTHING. The entire might of the US military decides to leave it up to the Dirks armed only with a small research submarine and a blimp to save the day. You might be aware of the fact that within a short flight of this position there are Vandenberg, Los Angeles and Edwards Air Force Bases, not to mention El Centro and Point Magu Naval Air Stations, and of course, Miramar (aka Top Gun) Naval Air Station. All told, there are probably some 500 military aircraft within 200 miles, not to mention all the navy bases with ships armed with long range cruise missiles. Also, a quick google search tells me that San Nicolas island is also used by the military and is practically bristling with search radars and missile installations. How many planes or missiles do we launch to protect the motherland from this obvious and insidious threat? Zero.

Dirk the marine engineer, who at this point has survived being shot down in a helicopter, shot at during a road race (jumping the car and landing on a ferry), trapped at the bottom of the sea in a submersible, and escaped the rising tide by a nail file, makes his way onto the platform. Bad guys were still on the platform and capture him YET AGAIN. Do they kill him? Nah… see above. They decide to tie him to the supports that are under the rocket and let the exhaust do the dirty work. Can someone please explain to me why the villains are prepared to kill millions of people indiscriminately, yet can’t see fit to put a bullet in this guys head who has caused them so much of a headache?

So, upon being left alone again, the blimp being flown by his dad, lands and rescues him yet again, and rescues the rest of the crew. Dirk Sr. then goes down to the submarine still tied to the platform and uses the handy drilling mechanism on the front to drill holes and flood the supports of the platform. He is able to flood it enough that when the launch happens, the rocket is out of balance and blows up, saving the day. Exciting? Sure. Realistic? Hardly.

But it doesn’t end there! The US finally decides to take action, and sends the navy seals against Kang’s compound. And, since the US government is completely batshit crazy at this point, they let the marine engineer tag long with the seal team on the strike. Oh, but they won’t allow him to have a gun because he is a civilian. I’ll save you the ludicrous details, but the seals essentially owe the success of the mission to, you guessed it, the only unqualified member of the force. I’m sure the seals must be proud to read this book.

I know I wrote a little too much about this book. But when something makes you as crazy as this made me, I just had to vent about it. I didn’t even mention all of the smart-ass quips that Dirk comes up with in the heat of the moment. At this point, I’m just happy I finished the entire book. And now I know, I don’t ever have to read another Cussler book again.

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Hey you… say hello!

Interesting occurance. I like to peruse my stats for my little blog here often. You can see them if you click on ‘view my stats’ at the bottom of this page. I’ve always really enjoyed stats… wait… I’ve always really enjoyed little bits of information. Stats, as in the college level business math courses, I NEVER enjoyed. As evidenced by the 2 times I had to take both stats 1 and 2. So, I like to know about things.

This morning, I see that there was a google search for me from an IP address in Stamford Connecticut. I don’t think I know anyone in Stamford Connecticut. Someone searched “jason haberman blog boise”. Now, I’ve had other searches for “jason haberman” but never got too excited about those. Apparently, according to google there are many jason habermans out there, which I find quite interesting since I have never met a Haberman that I wasn’t related to, let alone another Jason. Apparently, one is a neuroscientist at UC Davis, one a violinist at Colgate, one plays foosball in California. I just sit on my computer in Idaho. (wouldn’t it be weird if one of them looked exactly like me? Spooky… ) Anyway, I realize that just because the IP originated in Stamford, that doesn’t necessarily mean the person was there as well. Ya see, this here internet isn’t a truck to dump things on. its a series of tubes. But, it is plainly obvious that whoever this was was specifically looking for me. I’m pretty sure there are no other Jason Habermans living in Boise who have a stupid ass blog going. I’ve cornered that market.

I guess what I’m saying is, say hi. If someone I might know has found me, drop me a line. Even if you just want to say hello. I can be hit at jason(at)jasonhaberman(dot)com. (Non clickable since all those damn spiders out there harvesting email addresses would find it and I would get a never ending stream of spam). I always like getting email that doesn’t consist of someone offering me cheap v1iagr@ or LOW LOW MORTGATE RATES. Or, you could always just leave a comment on the site.

So, if you know me, say hi. If you’d like to know me? Say hi. Enjoyed something you read here? Say so. Think I’m a gasseous windbag? I suppose you could tell me so, but just remember that I’m fragile.

On a side note, this is the second time I had to write this post. The first one was eaten by the internet gnomes. Damn shame too, since that one was far superior in every possible way. But, you’ll never know the genius that was that post, you just have to live with this poorly scribed knock off. Such is life.

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My goofball nephew

I had my sister, her husband and my nephew over Saturday evening. A nice little diversion. We had some pizza, hung out, just had a good time.

However, Zach, my nephew is a total nut. Specifically, he is a water freak. This was his favorite part of the evening. Sitting in the bathroom sink, faucet on, dunking his head in the water.

Apparently, according to my sister, this is the same kid who fights tooth and nail to not get his hair washed. Go figure. I told them they just need to throw some soap in the sink and let him go to town.

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Card

I got this funny card from some family friends. I don’t usually find greeting cards all that humorous, but this one made me laugh out loud.

Front: Hang in there… Sometimes life hand you lemons, but then you can make lemonade.

Inside: Of course, sometimes life pulls down your pants, runs a power sander across your naked butt, then pours lemon juice on your raw, abraded buttocks.

In that case, a cool citrus drink wouldn’t really help, but darn it… you’ve got to hang in there anyway!

Thanks Goydens. Very funny.

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Solo part Deux

I wrote about how I’m getting into doing things solo.Well, I’ve expanded on that lately. The past two days, I’ve gone to see 2 separate movies that I’ve wanted to see. Now, they were both mediocre, but that is beside the point.The point is I was out and about, mono-style.

Sunday, I woke up and was bored. I killed some time… watched some football (but its still preseason and sucks. Side note, watching 2 games now I can say, good lord the Raiders suck. Holy Cow. That is a 3 win team if I’ve ever seen one. They couldn’t even move the ball against 2nd string defenses. Brooks has completed 2 passes in the preseason. Good luck Raider fan… gonna be a loooong year.). I decide I would just take in a flick. So, I looked at the listings and decided I would catch Pirates of the Caribbean on the digital screen here in town. So, 2:00 rolls around and I motor out the house. A large drink and a small popcorn later, I’m taking in this so-so movie. Plot was kinda confusing. They might have been trying too hard. However, it was probably worth the matinée price of admission.

Then, Monday while at work, I decided I had a good time on Sunday, that I might as well do it again. So, I lined up to head directly from work to catch Miami Vice. It kinda sounds strange, but it was kinda liberating to be able to leave work and go to a movie. No checking in with anyone. No asking if anyone else wants to do it. Nothing. Just go. Mini review of the movie is this: it is ‘Miami Vice’ in name only. Little to nothing to do with the TV show other than the character names. The way they played it, neither Crockett (Farrell) or Tubbs (Foxx) had one ounce of personality. Especially Farrell. He could not have played that roll any more boringly. Tried way to hard to be ‘cool’, but mainly came off as bored. I remember Crockett being the wisecracking, womanizing cop who lived on a boat with his pet gator Elvis. None of that came through here. Not to mention, the movie has ZERO of the flash and style of Miami, which again was a major part of the show. You’re telling me you couldn’t work in one scene where Crockett is driving the Ferrari on deserted Miami freeways while some great music is playing? Really? Oh yeah, the music. Again, boring. I think the old theme perfectly set the tone for the show. The movie is a tuneless mess.

Alright, I’d better stop writing about it. The more I write, the less and less I like the movie. I’m glad I saw it, but don’t know if I’d recommend it.

Anyway, the point of this post is I’m still getting my ‘single’ on. Would I rather have someone on tap to do these things with? Absolutely. Am I gonna sit around and piss and moan about it? No. I’m through with that shit. If I stay single, well, then I stay single. Ain’t the end of the world. I believe I was single with nary a date from 1995 to 2000. (Full time work and full time school will do that to ya) Didn’t kill me. I just gotta learn how to do that all over again.

Onward and upward.

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Terrorism Ambivalence?

Reading the news today, I was just wondering something. Is it possible that as more and more terrorist incidents happen (or almost happen as the case may be) the less people will care?

Follow me on this one. We all agree that terrorism is a horrible abomination. No argument there. It is terrible and sad when people are killed by fanatics. However, reading about these recent arrests that were announced late last week and seeing what has happened since, I’ve noticed something.

On Friday, the stock market actually went UP. Granted, airline stocks got hammered, but overall, people weren’t all that worried (and if you don’t think where people put their money isn’t an indicator of how they feel, you’re crazy). Then, today I read that despite a “security threat level” of “severe” (whatever that means) in Europe, that European air traffic has rebounded to normal. Its been 4 days.

What I’m wondering is if the acts of terror will just sorta become ‘one of those things’. Not that killing people is ever just a non-event. I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is that they have already killed thousands upon thousands of people. They leveled 2 symbolistic buildings. Blown up trains and cars and whatnot. And, are obviously still attempting to do more. Yet, we are sort of paying little attention. Pretty much business as usual.

Maybe this is a good thing. I mean, the whole point of terrorism is to disrupt the larger society by commiting acts of violence. If those acts are diminishing in their impact, if we choose to not give the terrorist the ‘mind space’, don’t we win? Granted, this may push them to try bigger and bigger displays. But, I have to imagine that those are much more difficult and far more expensive to plan and execute than some jackoffs with box cutters.

I dunno… maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m just losing interest and failing to be as scared as I was in 2001. I do know that there is no way in hell another airplane in this country gets hijacked without every passenger going batshit and doing something about it. I guess thats why they’ve changed to just trying to blow planes up again.

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Subway again

A while back I went to Subway in search of a sandwich (duh). Upon seeing they were out of lettuce, I left. Cursing off Subway until further notice. Well, a few days ago, I finally go back to Subway. I was craving a ‘spicy Italian’. So, I walk into a completetly different Subway at about 7:00pm. Nobody behind the counter… hmmm. I get up to the sneeze guard and what do I see? A printed 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper taped to said sneeze guard stating “We are out of bread until 7:30”.

WHAT!?!

I thought there was no way it would ever be more pathetic than to run out of lettuce. How wrong I was. Run out of bread? Pardont me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this a SANDWICH SHOP?! How do you run out of bread? Seriously. Explain that to me. At least, if you run out of lettuce, you can still sell some of your wares (meatball sub, for example). However, I’m pretty sure that when you sell sandwiches, if you run out of bread, you are done.

What the hell sort of 3 toed sloths do they have running these restaruants? At this point I’m pretty sure a drunken orangataun could probably be more successful. Not to mention, if they can run out of lettuce and run out of bread IN SEPARATE RESTARUANTS, what does that say about the people they have running the show? I don’t know about you, but I seriouly doubt I want these people handling anything I might ingest. And you thought ‘forgetting’ to wash your hands after using the restroom might be the worst… there is no telling what these people are capable of. “Uh… I spilled drain opener into the hot peppers? Is that bad?” Assistant Manager: “Nah… I think thats fine. The peppers are spicy anyway, right?”

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Moral Dilemma

Yes, this is another sports related post. But, before you go scurrying off to your US Weekly, hang here for a sec. I guarantee that even if you aren’t a sports fan, know a baseball from a hockey puck, or even give a damn, you will have an opinion on this story.

In Sports Illustrated, Rick Riley wrote about an event that happened in Utah. You can go read his account, but I’ll give you the thumbnail version.

Basically, here is the deal. 9-10 year olds little league game. Actually, this is the championship game. The league is a non-competitive league (everyone bats, no stealing, etc.) Why they’re having a “championship” game in a non-competitive league is something that doesn’t make sense to me, but I digress.

Yankees lead the Red Sox by a run in the bottom of the last inning. Red Sox are down to their last out, with the tying run on 3rd. Their best hitter is coming to the plate. Yankees coach has a decision to make. Pitch to the best hitter (who already has a home run) and possibly lose the game, or intentionally walk him? Behind him in the lineup is a kid who is a cancer survivor with a shunt in is brain and the worst hitter on the team.

Well, the coach does walk the power hitter in order to pitch to the weak link. Predictably, he strikes out and the game is over, Yankees win.

Now, I can see many different angles in this story. First that comes to mind is that that is a bush league thing to do to that kid. You know he’s weak, and you are deliberately targeting him to fail. He’s already been through hell with the cancer and you’re using that to your advantage. Do you really want to win like that?

On the other hand, I’ve long held the opinion that people coddle kids WAY to much. Way too much not keeping score and giving every kid in the league a trophy just for playing all to make sure that some kids don’t feel like ‘losers’. Kids have to learn, sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. When you grow up, life is not going to try to protect your feelings. It will kick your head in (trust me, I know). If you have never lost anything in your life, how do you know how to deal with it? Parents think a loss is going to destroy their kid’s self esteem. It’s cliche at this point, but everyone always learns more about them self in a loss than they ever do in a win. Life is all about how you deal with adversity. Kids sports is a small way to add some ‘positive losses’ to a kid’s life.

However, does a move like this send too much of that message? Does it teach his players that its ok to ‘win at all costs’? If it does, is that a positive or a negative? Does this teach his team strategy? Constructive thinking? Compassion is important, but the kid was playing in the game just like everone else. He knew the rules. Would he want the rules changed for him or shown special treatment because he’s not as strong or as good as everyone else? What message does that send him?

It is an interesting dilemma. As you can imagine the adults are all taking sides and screaming at each other. Adults have a knack for taking a situation and blowing it all out of proportion. Who knows how long they will argue about this. Weeks? Months? I’m quite sure of one thing. Every kid involved in that game was already feeling better and moving on once the pizza party was over.

If I was the coach, I would have taken my chances and pitched to the power hitter. Kids sports is not simply about winning or losing. As long as you go out there, spend some time with your buddies, have some fun, learn a thing or two… then its worthwhile. There is always the silver lining of a loss… you’re going to learn something about yourself.

I love what the kid told his dad the next morning. It wraps up what this is all about and what I’m telling you. “I’m going to work on my batting. Then maybe someday I’ll be the one they walk.”

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Draft – Post Mortem

Ok… most of you won’t give two shits about this post. However, a couple of you (I’m looking at you Adam and George) might find it interesting. Besides, this is my deal. If you don’t like it… well, you get what you pay for.

Base rules for our league. We start 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 Def. and have 5 Bench players of any position. Pretty standard. We’re also a keeper league, meaning we had to keep 3 players from our last year’s team. This means that right off get go, the top 30 players are already gone (we have 10 owners). So, this makes it a little more interesting (and difficult). I had 2 guys that were easy keepers, Tom Brady and Marvin Harrison. After that it was a little dicey. I had to decide between Willis McGahee or Brian Westbrook. All of the top ten running backs were ‘kept’ so getting a somewhat top RB was imparative. I don’t think Westbrook will survive the season, so I went with McGahee. I’ll probably regret that.

Adam, when we started drafting, all of the players you told me about were kept, Ronnie Brown, Chambers and Culpepper.

My first pick, which was fourth pick in what was essentially the 4th round, I took Willie Parker. Best running back available. I’m not terribily thrilled with that pick either.

Next round: Darrell Jackson. Decent pickup for the 5th round. Provided he can stay healthy. I owned Hasselbeck 2 years ago when Jackson dropped probably 5 touchdown passes. Killed me. Time for him to pay me back.
6th round: Joseph Addai. Went with Adam’s advice on that one. Go rookie running back!

7th: Jeremy Shockey. I’m really surprised he fell that far. Ranked #2 TE on my sheets.

8th: Carolina D. I like that pick. They’re supposed to be good.

9th: Donte’ Stallworth. Could have a big year with Brees in town. Especially if Horn is double covered.

10th: David Carr as my backup QB. Only need him for one week, but if Kubiak can get him in the right direction, might be interesting in the keeper league.

11th: David Givens now in Tennessee. Pretty decent pick at this point

12th: Lawrence Maroney, rookie running back in New England playing behind 2 well worn backs who probably won’t stay healthy. Might be another good keeper pick.

13th: Brandon Lloyd. Did well in SF on a terrible team last year. Wash. should be able to boost his stats a little.

14th: Kicker time… Jason Elam.

15th: Flyer on Greg Jones. Probably won’t see much of the field, but he’s mainly a place filler.

All in all, I’m not horribily disappointed. I would much rather have had a top 10 running back. Somehow, Commisioner Hedges has 2 top 4 running backs, Tiki Barber and Larry Johnson. He’ll probably win again. Bastard.

One thing you always like to hear when you’re drafting is after you make a pick, is a guy or two giving a dissapointed grunt. Meaning, they were sitting on that guy planning on drafting him. So, its just a little confirmation that you’re NOT crazy for taking him. Plus, its always good to get the “that is a strong pick” comments when they’re being serious. We’re pretty friendly, so there isn’t a whole lot of backstabbing or anything.

So, we’re done drafting. Everyone thinks their team can win if they catch a few breaks. Optimism is at an all time high. Of course, after week one and you get 2 players injured, and 3 others do absolutely nothing you’re damn near hari kari.

If anyone wants to see the other teams makeups you can go to our league homepage.
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/255026

Commish said he’d have the teams entered either tonight or tomorrow.

Feel free to critique my complete lack of knowledge of the NFL if you so desire. I’m just happy football is back around.

On a completely unrelated note, there was a huge windstorm that blew through town this evening. Apparently, 16,000 homes in the North End are have no power and there is no estimate of when they’ll be back up. Is it wrong that I take just a slight bit of glee in this? It’s not that I wish hardship on anyone, but power outages is just an inconveinece. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of people( /sarcasm ) Stupid and petty I know, but still…

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Fantasy Football Draft

Ugh… it happens tonight. I cannot tell you how UNprepared I am. We ususally do it later in the month, but our commissioner had to do it today to fit all 10 guys schedules. He informed us of this 2 days ago. I just really haven’t had enough time to get into the nitty gritty of what’s predicted and so on.

Then again, it could well be argued that I don’t really know what I’m doing even when I have plenty of time to prepare. And to those people I say…. well… you’re right. In 7 years I’ve never won. One year I lead most of the season, only to be bounced in the first round of the playoffs. That was my one flirtation with glory.

The rest of the time, I’ve been ending careers. Hence, my team name has been CareerEndingInjuries. It all began back in the first season we were playing. I had drafted Vinny Testeverde as my #1 quarterback. (This was back when he was supposed to have a huge season for the Jets). Week one. First quarter. He drops back to pass… nobody touches him… and ruptures his achillies tendon. Done for the year. Since that time, I have decimated guys. It has gotten to the point that the other guys in the league beg me not to draft players from their favorite teams. I wish I had kept a list of all the players that went down for the season when I had them. There are usually at least 2 or 3 on my team every year. I got Marshall Faulk a couple years ago… I think he ended up playing like 5 games. I’ve had ‘fragile’ Freddie Taylor (twice) and he got hurt both years. I had the Carolina backfield the season that both Stephen Davis and DeShaun Foster had their seasons ended.

I’ve had ACL’s, I’ve had Turf Toe. I’ve had broken collar bones. I’ve had drug suspensions. You name a way to lose a guy for the season, I’ve managed to own those very guys. I’ve had guys get injured, then the guy I replace him with get injured. I’m the NFL’s grim reaper.

So, if there are any teams or players you specifically want to see gone for the year, just let me know. Maybe I’ll draft them and put my curse on them.

I’ll write up a post-mortem of my draft when its finished. Not that anyone really cares about your fantasy team, but dammit, this is my space and I’ll use it how I see fit.

“I’m going to go get directions to our next huge embarassing failure” – Richard Hayden, Tommy Boy