It was inevitable. Remarkable that it hadn’t happened sooner, really. It finally happened. The Bump In-To. I wouldn’t say I was dreading it, since it hadn’t happened for so long. But now that I have run into her, I can say it wasn’t something I enjoyed.
This evening my friend Barry was apparently having an open house type party for his new bar/restaurant. His old place was where we always used to go together, but since Barry had sold it, I hadn’t been back more than once. I haven’t actually spoken to Barry in a while, but I heard through the grapevine that his place was opening this week.
Anyway, Jess and I went to the Boise State basketball game tonight which, by the way, was terrible. We were playing some horrible NAIA team and we put in a piss poor effort. So, after the game, I thought we might swing by to the new joint to see if it was, indeed, open.
We got out there and sure enough, there were people inside. We go inside just to take a peek around. It is a beautiful place. It was just like old times… I saw 10 or 12 familiar faces from the old Ha’ Penny days. With Barry not having a joint open, all these people spread out all over town for the past 6 months. But now that he’s back in business, the gathering place is also back.
We saw the sushi area, and walked into the bar. Everything was great. I did see the husband of one of G’s friends and talked to him for a sec, but it still didn’t register that she would be there. The lesson, as always, is I’m a dumbass.
We headed upstairs to look at the balcony and party room. Boom. There she was. Not 10 feet away. We saw each other and I think I waved like a jackass. She turned away pretty quickly. I didn’t approach and we didn’t speak. Jess and I stood around for a few moments as the waitress tried to push some of the remaining buffet items on us.
Then we made a graceful exit. Well… as graceful as could be expected.
It’s remarkable. It was so simple. So innocuous. And of course, it set my brain afire. I can honestly say that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about something related to her, the relationship, the break up, etc. It has been 10 months since ‘black monday’. Sometimes it feels like 2 years, sometimes it feels like 2 weeks.
In all actuality, this crossing of paths doesn’t really change anything. Since it’s not like I’ve successfully put it out of my mind or anything, I’ve got nothing to lose having seen her again. Whether that is healthy or not remains to be seen.
I will say this. I have been thinking lately. I remember thinking that there could be nothing worse than the death of a spouse. That had to be just about as horrible as it could get. Well, I can think of one thing. How about being rejected by a spouse and being stripped of just about everything you’ve got? Wife, best friend, house, friends, family, dogs, and possessions too numerous to count. When a spouse dies in a car accident or something you’re really only out the first two.
Having watched a little of the Westminster Dog Show this week, I still miss the boys terribly. Coming home to Frank and Dino every day was just the best. Oh well…
Just another day In The World.
It was bound to happen….Boise isn’t that big. Too bad she handled it so poorly. Not a surprise tho, given the way things went down. From your description, you have nothing to be ashamed of or feel like a jackass for….SHE’s the jackass. And acted like one too.
Piss on her. You’re on to bigger and better (much) things!
Love ya, Jas.
Ditto. You know how we all feel about her and know that you are SO much better off. Good job Jas, though I doubt it’ll ever be easy to see her, I think your reaction was great. love you too.
Sorry it’s still painful for you, Jas, but for our part, we have gained so much (after the much-felt initial anguish for you). We truly feel that we have you back–and what a joy to feel comfortable approaching you and Jess together and feeling that she rather enjoys our comany as well. Truth be told, none of us had felt that for a very long time.
So it’s 3:30 in the morning…can’t sleep…catching up on blogs after 2 weeks of being away from them. As hard as all that was, though, I think you’re better off now. And I think that you probably do too. But the offer to kick her ass is still good. You just let me know when and where.