Well, I might as well get down to brass tacks here and cough up the reason I’m destroyed right now. As some of you know, I am getting divorced. That is the accurate description. This is not a “we are divorcing” thing, this is a “she is divorcing me” thing. About 90% out of the blue. She told me Monday, April 3rd, two days before what would have been our 3rd anniversary. I came home from work, and as soon as I walked in the door she said, “we need to talk.” Then, she dropped the hammer. No “last chance”, no trial separation, no nothing. Just “we’re getting divorced, and I don’t want you to stay here tonight.” Actually, I believe her words were “I’m through”.
So, in a serious state of shock, I leave, taking nothing with me. I go to my sister’s house because it was all I could think to do. Also, she is a counselor and has been divorced years ago. I absolutely broke down when I told her (which would most certainly not be the last time for that). After staying there for a few minutes, I figured I should go to my parents house. My sister asks if she would like me to call them ahead of time and let them know. I would have never thought of that, and it really helped me out. At least IÂ didn’t have to say it again 10 minutes later. I “slept” there that night. Technically, I laid there in bed until 7am.
The next day, I took off work. Like I could concentrate on anything anyway. I had more important issues to deal with. I went back to “our” house to get some clothes and toiletries. When I get there, the locksmith is busy changing all the locks in the house. Not 12 hours after she broke the news to me. You would think I was beating her or something. It made me feel like I was a criminal that needed to be expunged. She had packed me a bag with some clothes and whatnot, and I left again. Got a hotel room at Extended Stay America for a week and tried to come up with some sort of gameplan.
All the while, I’m walking around like a zombie. Absolutely dumbfounded. I did need a haircut in the worst way, and had an appointment that day to get it done, so I went. Immediately she could tell something was wrong, and was smart enough to just say nothing. It was really nice to not have to try and make small talk. Not to mention that I was not ready to even begin to discuss it. I thanked her for not chatting me up, and tipped her generously.
The only other thing I did that day was put a call into my therapist I’d been seeing for about a month and a half (and also saw him around the holidays). Unfortunately, they couldn’t fit me in until the next Tuesday. Seven whole days.
More to come…